maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
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You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
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Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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