The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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