Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
