my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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