So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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