high people should be assigned attendants
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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