I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
