physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
