i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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