When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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