After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
