Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
