it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
