what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
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Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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