Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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