She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
