break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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