All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
