she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
worst night to have a conscience
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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