dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He has the fingertips of a God
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
