took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
