Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
