I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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