It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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