Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
love makes seman taste better
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....