how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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