I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...