this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
