i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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