you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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