did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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