Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
