He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
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I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.