Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.