Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
