oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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