White coat. Heels.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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