I think i peed on brittanys purse
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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