I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
