When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
