as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Never joke about your clitoris.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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