Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
