Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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