help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
