He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
