I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
