woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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