white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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