I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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