Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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