I love black thongs
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
