I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
