I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
