after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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