Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
True strength comes from lack of pants
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
