just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
