So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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