so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
