i would punch a child for taco bell
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
