and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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