Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
