Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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