im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
