If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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