im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
