it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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